Ooh, this sounds like it will be a fun one! Disney villains are fascinating characters, though I will admit the thought of having to marry one of them might not be the most appealing thing in the world. And then there was this question: is “kill” the villain I like the least and “marry” the one I enjoy the most? Or the one that I would literally want to kill the most or marry the most. I went with the more literal translation, so the villains in contention for kill are great characters – just they’re such great villains I want to kill them! There were definitely some difficult choices this week, but here’s what I came up with for this month’s edition of Kill, Refurb, Marry.
Kill – Frollo
This was a tough choice. Which Disney villain makes your skin really crawl the most? And makes you want to punch them in the face? There are certainly a number of contenders here, but I went with Frollo. Talk about evil personified. He is a cruel, heartless man, treating people terribly because they are different from him. Even though characters like Maleficent and the Evil Queen do terrible things and are certainly evil, Frollo seems to hit home a bit more because he’s more human. There’s no magic or evil spells that are causing him to do what he does, it’s just a malicious human nature. Maleficent couldn’t exist in real life, but Frollo could. And that is terrifying.
Refurb – Madam Mim
And by refurb, I mean potentially replace her with some other sort of villain. So basically “refurb the villain of The Sword in the Stone.” She’s such a joke of a character, and doesn’t even appear in most other versions of the story. I love the legends of Camelot, and there are so many more interesting villains they could have used. Morgan le Fay, Mordred, even Nimue. Take one of them, give them sorcery powers if you want (I think Morgan would fit in well here), and create a real, interesting villain.
Marry – Captain Hook
Does it count if I use the One Upon a Time version of Captain Hook? I’m going to say it does just because the show is on ABC and owned by Disney. He’s gorgeous, and in the show he may have done terrible things in the past, but he seems mostly reformed. If we’re talking about the cartoon versions I would probably pick someone else, but at least cartoon Captain Hook is a bit silly and fun. If I had to stick to original Disney animated features I would pick to marry Hans. He’s a huge jerk but at least he’s young and good looking, and he can pretend to be romantic and sweet when it fits him!
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